Rick’s Rants and Raves

Today my paternal Grandfather died. We knew it wouldn’t be long. He knew it wouldn’t be long. As with most passings, I have a few regrets.

• I regret not spending more time with him in the last several years. He is one of the reasons Anne and I left Atlanta when our first child was born. We left secure jobs and established lives to be closer to our child’s grandparents and great-grandparents. When Emily was born, she had 5 living great grandparents, 2 step-great grandparents, 4 grandparents and 2 step-grandparents. We couldn’t bear to have her know them only on the holidays. Unfortunately, that’s pretty much how she knew her Great-Grandfather Bennett. I regret that we weren’t better able to fit him into our lives.
• I regret not visiting him more in the weeks since I wrote this post. I think I made it three times, once with the kids. What a heart wrenching realization that is. He’s been so generous through the years but I couldn’t be bothered to go visit even once a week.
• I regret that he and my grandmother both did not want any sort of funeral service. I’m not sure if they didn’t want the money spent on it posthumously, or if they just wanted people to “move on with their lives” and not make a fuss over them. Its probably a bit of both. Unfortunately that means those of us left behind don’t really have a good way to grieve together, to celebrate their lives, and to meet others who knew them.

But its not all regrets today. I’m pleased about a few things too.

• I’m pleased that my kids have spent numerous Christmases, Thanksgivings and birthdays with their Great Grandfather. It could have been more, but at least they got that much. I think they’ll remember him into their own adulthood. That, I think, is one of the best gifts I could give him–to allow his memory to live on in his great-grand-kids.
• I’m pleased my father was able to spend so much time with his father these last several years. I’m pretty sure in the last couple of months, my dad was there every day. I’m grateful that he was able to help.
• I’m pleased that I managed to cajole my kids into writing thank-you notes to their Great Grandfather after Christmas. Thank-you notes have always been hard for me. I’m a horrible, evil person that procrastinates, then forgets, because writing a thank-you note always feels uncomfortable. My kids inherited this gene.  Anyway, my Grandfather has, for many years, given the kids sizable savings bonds on their birthdays and Christmas. Every year he makes sure that they know it is for spending money in college–not tuition–spending money so that they can enjoy their college years. This year was no exception. Since he was in no condition to visit at Christmas, I made sure the kids wrote the notes. I delivered the notes to him with some homemade cookies. He immediately started eating the cookies as I read the notes to him. I almost cried when I finished Nathan’s: “I hope you get better soon Grandpa.”
• I’m pleased that my grandfather’s mind was sharp and that he was free of pain in his final days. Though he was weakened and smaller, he could still carry on a conversation, could still remember his great-grand-kids’ names, and could still shake my hand.
• I’m pleased my grandfather had this picture in his room in his final days. Its from Christmas 2007. He asked to have it put next to the only other picture in his room–the one of his wife, my Grandmother, who died nearly 10 years ago.
  

  Kids with Great Grandpa

And now for some random memories.

• Some of my earliest memories of my grandfather are holidays at his house, not far from where we live now. While I was little, he told me to rub his nearly bald head for luck. His grip was always monstrous thanks to lifting weights three days a week. Their house was always neat as a pin and well maintained without being fancy. His den/office was decorated in a southwestern style and had a small futon styled couch (before futons were cool). I used to love exploring the pens and gadgets in his desk drawers.
• One Thanksgiving as my grandfather was getting ready to carve the turkey, he made a gobbling sound. For a moment I almost believed him when he said that it must still be alive.
• My grandparents were fond of taking trips “out west” during the summer months. They especially loved Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado. Almost every birthday for a decade I got a beaded “Indian” style belt, similar to this one.
• I still remember fondly the small table-top aluminum foil Christmas tree my grandparents had. It sat in a base that rotated it so that the ornaments could just brush over the presents piled beneath. I don’t know what’s happened to that tree now–I’ll have to ask my father if he has it. My grandparents and parents seem to love torturing me after dinner, talking until I couldn’t stand to wait any longer to open presents.
• My grandparents had a dachshund named Rudy who really “loved” one of my grandfather’s old coats. Yes, that kind of love. A few years ago, Anne and I met Jeff, a friend of my Aunt Barb, who happened to have lived in the same neighborhood as my grandparents about the same time they were there. As it turns out, Jeff knew my grandparents, and had fond memories of hearing my grandfather whistling after Rudy to come inside. Jeff could imitate the whistle perfectly. Hearing Jeff whistle and call after Rudy immediately took me back to childhood memories. Today I called Jeff to let him know the news.

I’m sure other memories will come to me in the coming days. I wish we had a better way to share them with strangers than through a blog post.

I miss my grandfather.

I recently read some comments on a blog post where the commenters were coming up with new “Jesus Saves” slogans. Here are two of my favories:

Jesus Saves

The rest of your party takes full damage.

and…

Jesus Saves

Filatov* picks up the rebound! GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!

*Substitute your own hockey player, if you’d like.

I started “consistently” exercising nearly a year ago. My first “Fitstart” session as 2/12/08. Its official–with my enthusiasm ADD, this is one of the longest interests I’ve had in a long time. This is a summary of my year (nearly) of working out at the local YMCA.

I started with the Fitstart program in February. Looking back on it now, its an adequate program for its goals–to be easily applied to a majority of the population, and help newcomers feel comfortable with a wide range of equipment. I met someone a couple of weeks ago who had a very different experience with the Fitstart at her YMCA, and she was working (as a volunteer) to improve it. I have the e-mail address of her daughter, so I really should follow up to see how its going.

Shortly after I finished Fitstart, I started designing my own routines based mostly on free weight movements. I took inspiration from a number of books along the way. I would have used the routines proscribed in the books, but I didn’t feel comfortable with either squats or dead lifts, and those were a significant component of most of the books I read. Instead, I’ve substituted lunges, Bulgarian split squats, and leg presses to get the lower body workout. Nearly a year later, I’m ready to pay a trainer at the Y to help make sure I’m using correct form on squats and dead lifts. I haven’t set an appointment yet, but I’m gonna. Really.

Below is a plot of the number of workouts I’ve completed in each month of 2008. My goal is to work out 3 times per week with an occasional week off (so an average of 10 per month). Some times that is tough. I was away from home a lot in June and July. I don’t know what my excuse is for August.  I just know we had a great summer.

November’s number includes three workouts while we were in Vermont–on three of the days were were there, getting a little twitchy, I decided to do pushups and lunges. I was able to do 100 pushups on two separate days, and 80 on another. Since it only took 4 sets and about 30 minutes to get to those numbers, I was pretty pleased. December was rough, what with the holidays, and a little personal surgery.

Some accomplishments of note:

• In September, I mentioned some early frustration I’d felt with the lat row exercise. I’d peaked at 90 lbs in mid April. In the September post, I’d moved the cable row (an equivalent exercise) to 140. The last couple of times I’ve done the cable row, I’ve done a set at 160. That’s an impressive stack, if I do say so myself.
• I started doing chin ups in mid May. At that time I was using the Y’s assisted chins/dips machine, with about 40 pounds of assistance. I was able to do three sets of 8. Now I’m doing chin ups unassisted, and 2-3 sets of 8-9.
• I started doing dips in mid may. At that time I was using the Y’s assisted chins/dips machine, with about 40 pounds of assistance. I was able to do three sets of 10. Now I’m doing dips with 40 pounds ADDED. Today I was able to do 3 sets of 6-8.
• In May I started doing lunges with 2 30 pound dumbbells.  Now I’m using 2 55 pound dumbbells.
• A couple of years ago I spoke to my doctor about some lumps that had developed on my legs. They were big enough to be seen if I was wearing shorts, but they didn’t hurt or have any discoloration. She told me that since I used to have very muscular legs, that they were due the atrophying of my quadriceps (I forget the name she told me). Those lumps are now almost entirely gone, and only I can tell where they are by touch.

One of the frustrations I’ve felt in my reading is that there isn’t much attention paid to age effects. I know I’m not a young buck any more. I know that the most significant gains will be experienced by men in their late teens to early twenties. But at 38, can I still expect to experience strength and muscle growth? I’m making strength gains, but frequently I’m left to wonder if those are due to muscle growth, or due to neural adaptations (learning how to make use of all the muscle fibers). The biggest evidence I’ve got for not gaining muscle, despite the gains described above: no weight gain. At the end of Fitstart, I weighed just over 180. The last couple of weeks (even with the holidays) my weight has been the same. Is it unreasonable for me to expect to have gained a few pounds of muscle after nearly a year? Or am I stuck simply fighting the effects of a desk job and sarcopenia?